if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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