There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
