you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
