Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
