I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
