people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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