glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
