My nipple is on Facebook.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
