we have pet lesbian snakes
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
