Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize