Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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