I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
