You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
