i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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