I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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