Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
