is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
