Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
