I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
