I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize