Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize