I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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