So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this boner is exhausting
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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