So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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