We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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