I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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