It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
