please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
