Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
