So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
