Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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