He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
