We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
