Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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