just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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