that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
