She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
