Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
