The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
