do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
