standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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