I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
