pedialite and red bull = repair kit
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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