There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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