butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
