Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize