How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
