I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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