Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So gin and wine won't be happening again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
