I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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