Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize