I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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