His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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