do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
