Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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