we have officially lost it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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