the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
