I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
