i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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