Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
