peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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