Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
