I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
