I didn't shave. On purpose
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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