I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize