Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
