You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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