I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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