Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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