Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
