please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He kissed a someone with a penis
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just gargled with NyQuil
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
