OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
